How to Balance Marriage, Motherhood, and Entrepreneurship
Half of the women i work with are single, working all the time, and trying to find balance and love in their lives. The other half are married, raising children, and are starting businesses. They are also looking for balance, just in different ways. This blog post is for the mama with a baby on her hip, dinner to make, and dreams to achieve 💜
I am writing this blog post because years ago, this was me. I always thought that in order to have a successful marriage, happy children, a clean house, and a business, i needed to wake up earlier, work myself to exhaustion, and something had to suffer.
Like many women entrepreneurs, i struggled with the idea of balance.
I had so many questions in my mind.
How do you grow a business while also being a present mom and wife?
How do i create success without neglecting something or someone?
Is it selfish for me to want to create something for myself while my children still depend on me?
The answer to all of these questions came after i went on a walk with a friend who shared something that completely changed my perspective.
She had told me that every year, her family creates a vision board together. Not just her, but her entire family sit and create a board for all of the things they want to achieve together.
This inspired me so much. What i loved about this idea was that they weren’t all creating separate dreams. They were creating a shared family vision.
They even had a section on the board that was all about my friends business. She said this made it not separate from her family, but instead included her family. Whatever was on the board became their main priorities and they made time for. So, in this case, having her business on the board and setting time to work on it was something she stopped feeling guilty for, and started seeing as part of her families bigger vision. That is when she saw a major upgrade in her business. But, before this came the hard parts which i am going to help you work through.
Why balance can feel so hard
Many women are torn between different roles. One moment you are working on your dreams, but the laundry is piling up, and someone needs to be dropped off at school.
Then you are planning dinner, creating content, and trying to find 5 minutes to take some time for yourself before its bedtime.
The truth is balance isn’t about finding time to do everything in your day, it is about creating harmony and feeling happy about what you have achieved that day.
Stop thinking your business is separate from your family
When i started my business i set the goal of wanting to create my own money. Not to take away that role from my husband, but just for me to experience creating an income. I just thought it would be so cool to know that i was capable of creating money in ways that felt so good to me. When i explained this my husband, he understood it but we tweaked the goal to creating some extra money to use for fun family experiences like trips, and days out.
Many women, like the old me, create a divide between their business goals and their family life. They work when no one is looking, and put too much pressure on themselves to create money.
But what if you weave your business into your families day. Instead of the 5am wake up to work, you take a hour while your children are having quiet time, or your partner takes over the children’s bath time so that you can work.
When your family understands your vision, they are more likely to support it. When your children understand your goals, they can celebrate the wins with you.
Create a family vision together
Try this with your family. Take a few hours on a weekend to sit together, and go through these questions:
Where do we want to travel?
What experiences do we want to have?
What financial goals do we want to meet?
What do we want our home to feel like and where do we want to live?
What are some personal goals everyone has and how can we all support them?
This is how you create a life vision together. The children will feel included, everyone will feel supported, and everyone understands what you are working towards.
After doing this with my family, i came to this conclusion: my business wasn’t working before because i was trying to create something that was different from what my husband had in mind for our life. Once we shared what we wanted to create, it was easier to support and understand and include each others goals in our life’s vision.
Let your children see you work
I am so guilty of this. I would never let my children see me work because i thought they would think it was taking time and attention away from them. The truth is, my dreams mattered too, and it was important for them to see it because i want them to know that their dreams matter and they should never hide what they want in this life.
My business makes me happy and my family make me happy. Those two things can coexist.
Prioritize connection over perfection
Your family don’t need you to be this perfect mom and wife 24/7, but what they do need is for you to be present in the moments that matter.
When i started my business, i thought it would mean sacrificing time away from my family and that meant i would miss things. Instead, i created non negotiable times when the laptop and phone went away and my family had all of me.
These where, and still are:
Dinner time
Bedtime
Homeschooling hours
Almost all weekend (besides the hour i take on a Saturday night to check in with my numbers for the week)
When my children need help or when they ask for some time with me
Protect your marriage while building your business
Entrepreneurship can be so exciting but it can also take all of your time if you let it. I know that i could spend all day working on my blog, or planning content, there is always another task to complete or start.
Without strong boundaries, it can quietly take over your life.
Make time for your marriage as it is more important than anything. Talk about things beyond work, talk about your dreams, celebrate all of your wins together.
Always remember that your partner isn’t just watching you work, they are living it with you.
Create a home that supports everyone’s goals
As a huge believer in knowing that your environment supports your goals, i had to include this!
A home that is filled with clutter and chaos can not support clarity.
An organized, intentionally designed home creates, clarity, stability, and support.
As a family, decide what no longer supports your goals and remove it from your home.
This can include:
Broken items
Old books
Clothes and old bedding
Unfinished projects you know you won’t finish
Chipped dishes
Mismatched items
Art you no longer resonate with
Redefine success
Success looks like more than just a big bank account these days. We often let success be determined by the number of followers we have, or how many clients we signed this week.
But success can also look like:
Having dinner with your family
Feeling connected to your spouse
Your children overcoming or achieving something
Feeling at peace
The ultimate goal is living a life that you are actually content and happy with.
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